Puddleby Court Log: 54 Autumn, year 592 of The Ascendancy. 15:55

In the matter of Largo v Pun'isher, accused of “Terrible Jokes”

Before the jurors: Elenis Reyav, Kojiro, Zaerion, Gremlins, Osito, Shard.

The Honourable Judge Haengemie, presiding.
With Bellafae serving as Bailiff.
To all who read these presents, the following transcript of this trial is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge.
Clera, reporting.

[Bellafae] This court is now in session, The Honourable Judge Haengemie presiding.
[Haengemie] <standard pre-trial court briefing>
[Largo] I'm here today to bring charges of terrible jokery against the villain Pun'isher.
[Largo] I say "jokes," because I'm sure that's how she means them to be perceived.
[Largo] I say "terrible" because they are. Horrendous. We all know it.
[Largo] Two examples from today:
[Largo] 8/20/13 10:40:11p Pun'isher thinks, "Largo! its Pun. Um do you have anywhere I can hide from...the punparazzi"
[Largo] The joke is that her name is "Pun'isher"
[Largo] she is combining it with the word "paparazzi" for comedic effect.
[Largo] "Comedic"
[Largo] 8/20/13 10:42:10p Pun'isher thinks, "well if a sharted there would be poup-on something"
[Largo] This is a poop & mustard joke.
[Largo] These jokes are undeniably a crime.
[Largo] Not just against me, no.
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining. Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Largo] Not just against those who can immediately hear her.
[Largo] But against ALL sentient life, for these onerous jokes echo just as surely as an earthquake
[Largo] Done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Largo.
[Haengemie] Pun'isher, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Pun'isher] I hope his words arent taken seriously.
[Pun'isher] I don't deserve any Pun-itive damage or sentence
[Pun'isher] to coin a phrase
[Pun'isher] when success seems out of reach what do you do..you P.U.N.T.!
[Pun'isher] isn't brown mustard and sharting similalr
[Pun'isher] i was making comparipuns
[Pun'isher] it could have been worse
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining. Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Pun'isher] where is no punstantive evidence a
[Pun'isher] I am innopunt!
[Pun'isher] innopunt!!!
[Haengemie] Thank you, Pun'isher.
[Pun'isher] done
[Pun'isher] or p un
[Haengemie] Largo, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Largo] Look, I'll keep this brief.
[Largo] Just send her to jail.
[Largo] Just do it.
[Largo] Pleas.e
[Largo] I'm begging you.
[Largo] For the good of our fair town.
[Largo] May the gods have mercy on her soul, and on ours.
[Largo] Also, I misused the word "onerous". But I'm the president, and that doesn't matter.
[Largo] I recommend the maximum sentence.
[Largo] Done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Largo.
[Haengemie] Pun'isher, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Pun'isher] Under where did this become brief? I say.
[Pun'isher] when did this become so pun-gent a matter
[Pun'isher] pun-ishable by whom?
[Pun'isher] Pun'isher persay
[Pun'isher] Largo?
[Pun'isher] everyone
[Pun'isher] every pun even?
[Pun'isher] so look into your hearts
[Pun'isher] deep down
[Pun'isher] my jokes arent terrible
[Pun'isher] they are puntifiably clever!
[Pun'isher] thank you esteemed and handsome members of the jury.
[Pun'isher] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Pun'isher.
[Haengemie] <standard jury verdict briefing>
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's verdict.

   Votes innocent: 1
   Votes guilty: 1
   Votes frivolous: 4
   Abstaining: 0

[Haengemie] Largo, this court has found your case frivolous.
[Haengemie] Pun'isher, you are free to go.
[Haengemie] <standard jury sentence briefing>
[Haengemie] Jurors, you should take Largo's record into account when deciding what sentence to recommend.
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's sentencing recommendation.

   Total recommended jail time: 271 min
   Total recommended fine: 1651c
   Total jurors: 6
   Avg recommended jail/fine: 45 min/275c

[Haengemie] Largo, you are hereby sentenced to spend 45 minutes in the Puddleby jail,
[Haengemie] and fined 275 coins.
[Haengemie] As you cannot afford to pay your fine, the clerk calculates the balance (226c)...
[Haengemie] ...as additional jail-time of 30 minutes.
[Haengemie] Also, Clera will help you arrange a payment plan.
[Haengemie] Judge Haengemie bangs his gavel
[Haengemie] This court is adjourned.

Court adjourned at 16:43 on 54 Autumn, 592