Puddleby Court Log: 12 Winter, year 536 of The Ascendancy. 18:50

In the matter of Khaas v Outcast, accused of “being an ugly dickhead!”

Before the jurors: Cutlas, Garibaldi, Gimli, Sylune, Pierre Manard, Deadmeat, Li Lu, Yazza

With Bellafae serving as Bailiff.
To all who read these precepts, the following transcript of this trial is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge.
Clera, reporting.

[Bellafae] This court is now in session, The Honourable Judge Haengemie presiding.
[Haengemie] <standard pre-trial court briefing>
[Khaas] Well, your honour
[Khaas] He is ugly
[Khaas] you must admit
[Khaas] and, he has a head you see
[Khaas] It is shaped like a Male Sexual organ.
[Khaas] I rest me case
[Khaas] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Khaas
[Haengemie] Outcast, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Outcast] While I can't exactly deny the charges...
[Outcast] I find that this fellows case and the initiation of this trial demonstrates a total lack of respect....
[Outcast] for our hollowed judicial system.
[Outcast] And this fellow has a history of it.
[Outcast] Even today he was harangued jurors...
[Outcast] And punished as a result
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Outcast] A person who shows such contempt for our proceedings of law should be banished, in my opinion
[Haengemie] Thank you, Outcast
[Haengemie] Khaas, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Khaas] Well,
[Khaas] I believe my past case is irrelevent
[Khaas] but,
[Khaas] I do find the shape of his head offensive
[Khaas] Which is the meaning of this case
[Khaas] It makes me close my eyes to see him in the same place
[Khaas] that is ruining my life here
[Khaas] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Khaas
[Haengemie] Outcast, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Outcast] I would not be surprised if many people consider me a dickhead in both the literal and figurative sense...
[Outcast] But he is making a mockery of the system, and wasting our time.
[Outcast] Don't put up with this. Throw the book at him as hard as you can.
[Outcast] Remember, I can't help the way my head looks.
[Outcast] I hope that the Jury understands my plight and shows pity...
[Outcast] But reserves none for this crude boor.
[Outcast] He obviously wants punishment, so give it to him.
[Outcast] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Outcast
[Haengemie] <standard jury verdict briefing>
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's verdict.

  Votes innocent: 0
  Votes guilty: 0
  Votes frivolous: 8
  Abstaining: 0

[Haengemie] Khaas this court has found your case frivolous.
[Haengemie] <standard jury sentence briefing>
[Haengemie] Jury, please note: one prior conviction in the past year.
[Haengemie] And, because I find the friviolity of this case to be contemptuous,...
[Haengemie] I'm going to double the maximum penalty (240 min/2000 c)
[Haengemie] I suggest that the jury recommend a stiff sentence.
[Haengemie] Jurors, you should take Khaas's record into account when deciding what sentence to recommend.
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's sentencing recommendation.

  Total recommended jail time: 0 min
  Total recommended fine: 16000c
  Total jurors: 8
  Avg recommended jail/fine: 0 min/2000c

[Haengemie] Because of outstanding fines still owed from previous convictions...
[Haengemie] I'm going add 23 minutes to the sentence.
[Haengemie] Khaas, you are hereby sentenced to spend 23 minutes in the Puddleby jail,
[Haengemie] and fined 2000 coins.
[Haengemie] As you cannot afford to pay your fine, the clerk calculates the balance (2000c) as additional jail-time of 252 minutes.
[Haengemie] Also, Clera will help you arrange a payment plan.
[Haengemie] In addition, Khaas, I'm going to banish you from the city limits for 10 days.
[Haengemie] After you've served your jail-sentence, I suggest you sneak out of town quietly, and don't let the guards catch you.
[Haengemie] Judge Haengemie bangs his gavel
[Haengemie] This court is adjourned.

Court adjourned at 19:52 on 12 Winter, 536