Slyph on Clan Lord Races
Slyph's theory on personality types and
race-choice in Clan
Lord:
*Male Zo are
unexpressive rank whores that like to look tough, but not *too* tough for the
ladies. Never too tough for the ladies. When they say "heh," they do it with
*style*. Male zo are often played by computer engineers and male
escorts.
*Female Zo are
there to be bossy and tell you what to do. And rip your arms off if you don't.
People with control issues play female Zos. This race is usually played by nuns
and aunts with moles that sprout tufts of
hair.
*Male dwarfs are
either unexpressive rank-whores who don't care if they're too tough for the
ladies; or sneering, leering snerts. They are played by bakers and high school
boys.
*Female dwarfs are
role-players, or at the very least, terribly nice folks. Nice but quiet. Moms
and D&D
aafficionados.
*Male
Thooms are thoomy, like Shepherd said. They're played by folks that are Star
Trek geeks or religious ministers, and no one else. NO ONE ELSE. This choice
allows for no
exceptions.
*Female
Thooms are played by people that have all the personality of a cardboard box.
Female thoom are often played by your cousin, th one your mom makes you go say
hello to, since no one else at the party
will.
*Male humans are
played by bumblers: people who usually have very good intentions, but cannot
tie their own shoelaces. And why pick human? It's like having a career as a
policeman, only to dress up as a fireman for Halloween! College students whose
brains are still soft and
unformed.
*Female humans
are either terribly nice and quiet, or raving, shrill lunatics.
Sorry.
*Male fen are
psychopaths.
*Female fen
are played by people that have a mad exhuberance for life, while still retaining
a strong sense of whimsical childishness. Moms, exotic dancers, people in the
theater, and graphic
artists.
*Male halflings
are a rainbow. Unexpressive rank-whores, role-players, social butterflies,
snerts, idiots, tag wenches, upstanding and kind people, and psychopaths. They
are played by
everyone.
*Female
halflings are often nasty little people with nasty little minds. Players that
play female halflings are sometimes similar to players of female fens in their
childisness, except that players of female halfings have koolaid stains around
their mouths and are slightly feral in nature. These players are often
abandoned children found living in the wild with
bears.
*Male cloaked
characters are convinced that they are JUST as mysterious in-game as they are in
real life. They're actually as mysterious as peanut butter. Male cloaked are
played by male high school students. All of
them.
*Female cloaked
are exactly like male cloaked, but with a sense of
humor.
*Male Sylvans.
Shepherd was right. High maintenance and prone to tears over the slightest
negative comment. And all the personality of an eraser. Male sylvans are
played by people that get told, "let's just be friends" a
lot.
*Now, who did I
miss?
*Ah, yes, female
Sylvans. This race is played by intelligent, passionate people that have a
well-balanced understanding off the world. They are sensual, and prone to
bending genders. But in a sexy way. Similar to the way that no female Sylvan
is ever attracted to male Sylvan, players of female Sylvan won't hang out with
players of male Sylvans. Typically, female Sylvans are played by artists,
philosophers, chefs, and architects.
Slyph, surprisingly, is a female
Sylvan.
Filed Sat
- August 5, 2006, 01:32 PM in
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